Found on a Cocktail Napkin

INCH Found on a Cocktail Napkin

NINE THINGS OVERHEARD AT NHL AND AHL ALL-STAR FESTIVITIES

  • “Phil Kessel is sitting in a meeting room at the Opryland Hotel waiting for the player draft. Somebody should tell him.”
  • “Who the hell is Leo Komarov? He’s on Toronto? I didn’t even realize they had an NHL team in Toronto.”
  • “If Danny Kristo isn’t here, it should be called the AHL Some-of-the-Stars Classic.”
  • This is just a little more open ice than there was when Pavelski beat Cornell in ’06.”
  • “The people who got John Scott voted into this thing – can we put them in charge of bringing a Frozen Four to Nashville?”
  • “They’re not booing Patrick Kane; they’re saying … no, wait, they’re booing. Lots and lots of booing.”
  • “Why do people keep throwing spare change at Brent Burns?”
  • “Shea Weber broke the record for hardest shot in Nashville, previously held by whatever Johnny Cash was drinking.”
  • “I spent the AHL all-star break in Utica last year and Syracuse this year. That’s my ultimate motivation for being ready for camp with the big club in September.”

Found on a Cocktail Napkin

INCH Found on a Cocktail Napkin

The Worst Sweaters in Recent History

This update to a popular Napkin from a decade ago that appeared on the old INCH site stemmed from a Twitter comment I made while watching Michigan and Notre Dame last Friday—namely, that the Wolverines’ sweaters that night were alarmingly garish. This rundown includes a few holdovers from 2003 and a handful of new entries. Ironically, the Michigan jersey that sparked this sartorial redux isn’t on the list.

The Holdovers

Denver’s Goldmember thirds: We named this sweater after the third and final installment in the Austin Powers trilogy. Ten years later, it looks like something Psy would wear.

Minnesota’s “flag team” jerseys: The Gophers wore these to mark the 75th anniversary of intercollegiate hockey at the school. Instead, they chose to commemorate the worst part of a marching band. Continue reading

Found on a Cocktail Napkin: The All-Black Friday Team

INCH Found on a Cocktail Napkin

The INCHWriters.com All-Black Friday Team

F-Herb Boxer (Michigan Tech 1967-70)
F-Corey Cash (New Hampshire 1992-95)
F-Chris Line (Clarkson 1998-2002)
D-Tim Friday (Rensselaer 1981-85)
D-Sean Offers (Dartmouth 2003-06)
G-Joe Blackburn (Michigan State 1997-2001)

F-Will Merchant (Maine 2012-present)
F-Fyfe Dollar (Middlebury 1954-56)
F-Bob (Buy One, Get One) Free (Brown 1978-81)
D-Chris (Credit) Carder (Bentley 1992-93)
D-Reid Cashman (Quinnipiac 2003-07)
G-Nathan Shopbell (Michigan State 2000-02)

Found on a Cocktail Napkin

INCH Found on a Cocktail Napkin

Ten Reasons InsideCollegeHockey.Com Folded

• Maintaining simultaneous bias against 59 Division I teams threatened to cause a rip in the space-time continuum.

• Got in trouble with Apple lawyers when we said we launched in 1976 in Steve Jobs’ garage.

• In retrospect, we shouldn’t have funneled all our money into the Ryan Lochte speaking tour.

• Recent readers surveys show fans eschewed thoughtful, passionate writing about teams, players, and issues in favor of stories about Honey Boo Boo’s recipe for “sketti.”

• Joe Gladziszewski’s side project, AgainstAllThingsJessMyersLikes.com, takes up way too much of his time. (Gladdy: “My Rams!”)

• We’re still waiting for our cut of hockey-related revenue.

• We let it walk halfway across the University of North Dakota campus on a sub-zero winter night.

• Our work was so good, its excellence couldn’t be captured by binary code.

• We couldn’t figure out how to get from Grand Rapids, Mich. to Rochester, N.Y. in less than 30 seconds.

• No more napkin jokes about UNH national titles after they won the … HA! Like that would ever happen.